Myth-"Male and Female can never be Friends"
Do you know the meaning of “FRIENDSHIP”, yes, you know, you have read in some newspapers and magazines, but what about applying the same.
Understanding Friendship
Before I start I know, as you probably know, that a friendship can be an antidote for loneliness or depression or even boredom. But it should be just more than an antidote for these problems. What are the qualities that lead to a solid friendship?First of all, friendship must be genuine. In friendships we reveal what we are and who we are capable of becoming. Friendships demand that we reveal ourselves without pretenses or masks, without affection or deception. Friends are those with whom our faults are safe.
Another ingredient necessary for the cultivation of a friendship is that one must be generous. The friendship is its own reward.
Another quality needed for a friendship is that it be gratuitous. It is a free donation or offering of one person to another. Friendship is never marred by jealousy. There must be a certain freedom between the two friends. Otherwise, there could be the problem of possessiveness or even suffocation of the friendship.
Other qualities could be mentioned so that solid friendships can be cultivated. A sense of humor, charity, understanding, compassion is only some of the ingredients that have to be cultivated for a solid friendship with another.
Just one more thought on this subject. For many people in this world, life is cold, lonely and hard. If they had one friend, their lives would not only be different, but happier. A friendship is a touch of heaven on earth. And you can bring a touch of heaven into someone's life.
Friendship between male and female
The Indian culture is yet to come to terms when it comes to friendship between a Male and Female.The initial reaction is that of a wide eyed hawk looking for a scoop in it. Although, we have shown tremendous growth on social and economic front however our minds are yet to respond positively to this relationship. In the West, which is a yardstick for many of us, the friendship is just viewed as a greater and comfortable interaction between two persons. It does not matter much whether the concerned people are both males both females or male and female. I think we need to awaken up to this reality of life where this kind of friendship needs to be viewed with a positive frame of mind.
All our mythological have mostly mentioned about the friendship between males only. So, this mentality owes its inception to this period.The changing times could hardly reverse the trend. The male dominated society continued to guide the destiny of the people with this mentality. It's a fact that most of the kings had a harem of women for their pleasure but we are yet to come across one queen who had this kind of facility for her.
Anyway, we are not advocating the need of harems but highlighting the need for positive and healthy friendship between male and females. Following wrongs doesn't make us right so whatever wrongs we follow needs to be amended. Even the Indian constitution since its inception has recorded several amendments. So why cant the society change its line of thinking? It is needed.
Newton, the great scientist, needs to be complimented for realizing this while jotting down his laws of motion. He says "To every action there is equal and opposite reaction"and we find this being followed in daily life today. A gal today wants to know that if her male member of the family can have a female friend why cant she have a male friend? Logically, she is correct. If you want her to follow you don't do any indecent thing so that one can hold his head high while preaching others.
The root cause of this is our sick minded mentality which views the women as an object of sex only. We tend to forget the love, warmth, affection, care, glamor, decency, patience, kindness, generosity etc she brings with her. On the other hand, men are capable of contributing by way of adventurism, enthusiasm, calmness, and ability to handle all odd situations, giving the feeling of protectiveness to women etc. Don't we feel if we sum up all these qualities we can have a complete human being who would be an asset to any society at any time?
Male female friendship goes beyond the physical attractions. I feel its an individuals perception of viewing a situation. A half glass of water is half empty for some and half full for others. In other words its the way of looking up to situations from different angles. I have known some people who during the course of their work struck decent, meaningful, satisfying mutually beneficial friendship with the members of opposite sex. They love, adore and cherish it . How can such a friendship be put to acid test and tell me one person on earth who would not like to cultivate this kind of friendship? I think the evil minds need some repairs by jolting with heavy hammers in the head. I hope they don't die during this activity.
A male getting attracted to a female and vice verse is nothing new. Its a natural phenomenon.The laws of magnetism have clearly spelled them." Like poles repel each other and unlike poles attract each other". Moreover, look how anxious one is while waiting for a friend of opposite sex over a cup of coffee and some delicious meal. I don't think the coffee or the meal contribute much to their happiness than just the feeling of togetherness. They tend to put on the best of behaviors, the best of dresses to impress each other. The tensions of this modern world are released through this outlet and discussions are mostly constructive. All things are done decently because that's the basic requirement.
My Gift to all my friends for their Friendship
I love you not only for what you are,
but for what I am when I am with you.
I love you not only for what you have made of yourself,
but for what you are making of me.
I love you for the part of me that you bring out.
I love you for putting your hand into my heaped-up heart,
and passing over all the foolish and frivolous and weak things
which you cannot help dimly seeing there,
and for drawing out into the light
all the beautiful, radiant belongings,
that no one else had looked quite far enough to find.
I love you for ignoring the possibilities of the fool
and weakling in me,
and for laying firm hold
on the possibilities of good in me.
People say true friends must always hold hands, but true friends don't need to hold hands because they know the other hand will always be there.
Conclusion
“Friendship is the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring all right out just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful friendly hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping and, with a breath of comfort, blow the rest away.”
Not only in Friendship but also in all the relations love is the driving force that creates and sustains it. The kind of love friends have for each other is the desire to know, serve and share. It is the antithesis of lust - the desire to acquire, possess and control. It is what makes one want to connect with another human consciousness - intellectually, emotionally and physically.
Unspoken doubts and suspicions are barriers that limit the possible depth to which a friendship can progress. Love empowers friends to say how they feel about each other without inhibition or fear of hurting each others feelings. It thereby allows them to resolve their doubts and suspicions about each other, thus removing the barriers and opening the way to an ever-deeper friendship.
Because friends love each other, one never attempts to force, coerce or control the other to change for the better. One friend only informs the other of the way he or she feels. Love will motivate the informed friend to change him or herself for the better. Because friends love each other, they will never use each other as a means to an end - as a human resource to be used and abused for self gain. A friend - as a precious sentient consciousness - is an end in him or herself. That end is the joy of sharing experiences and reciprocal love.
